Post #3: Poetry benchmark essay and reflection
Prompt:
The following poem is by the sixteenth-century English poet George Gascoigne. Read the poem carefully. Then write an essay in which you analyze how the complex attitude of the speaker is developed through such devices as form, diction, and imagery.
For That He Looked Not upon Her:
You must not wonder, though you think it strange, To see me hold my louring head so low, And that mine eyes take no delight to range About the gleams which on your face do grow. The mouse which once hath broken out of trap Is seldom ’ticèd with the trustless bait, But lies aloof for fear of more mishap, And feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit. The scorchèd fly, which once hath ’scaped the flame, Will hardly come to play again with fire, Whereby I learn that grievous is the game Which follows fancy dazzled by desire: So that I wink or else hold down my head, Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred.
My essay: English poet, George Gascoigne uses strong diction and vivid imagery to srticulate the attitude of the speaker throughout the poem, For That He Looked Upon Her. Gascoigne uses artful diction throughout that demonstrates the complexity and strong feelings held by the speaker. In line 2 he uses the word "louring" to describe the speakers' head. By using louring instead of sad or gloomy, it shows how strong the sadness of the speaker is and increases the intensity of his emotions. In line 13, he uses the word "dazzled" to describe the amazement of what the speaker had felt in the past. By using dazzled it creates an idea of the excitement that the speaker once had for the desire they felt.
The author uses metaphors to compare himself to animals to depict how he felt in the relationship. In lines 5 and 6 he writes "the mouse once hath broken out of the trap is seldom 'ticed with the trust less bait,." he is saying that if a mouse escapes a trap then it most likely won't trust the bait again. this alludes to the idea that in the relationship he's writing about, he had issues trusting someone who had already caught him in a trap before. He continues in lines 7 and 8 with "But lies aloof for fear of more mishap, And feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit. These lines allude to the idea that he tried to create distance because he was scared more issues would arise but he failed and continued with the relationship even though he still had his doubts. By creating this metaphor with the mouse, it creates a comparison that adds to the depth of the emotions the author was feeling. Gascoigne creates a second metaphor, similar to the first, using a fly instead of a mouse. In lines 10 and 11 he states "The scorched fly which one hath 'scaped the flame will hardly come to play again with fire." By using this metaphor, it reiterates his previous metaphor while also showing a more complex look into the relationship he is writing about. He uses the word "hardly" to describe the fly coming back to the fire. But if the fly has been burned before and it knows it will be burned again, then why would the fly return to the fire?
My score: 5
Reflection:
I was asked to write an essay analyzing the complex attitude of the speaker is developed in his poem. What's being examined is my ability to analyze the complex attitude of the speaker.
I gave myself a score of 5. I gave myself this score because although I gave a plausible reading of Gascoigne's use of devices such as form, diction, and imagery. However, my analysis of the speaker's attitude was vague and I feel I may have included some minor misinterpretations of the poem.
What score did your teacher give you and why?: Ms. Wilson gave me a score of 5 because the ratio of analysis to actual writing I was commenting on was low, my essay was partial and vague as well as formulaic.
The most relevant part of the task was being given an example of a prompt that could be seen on the exam and being given time to practice writing an essay without the fear of receiving a grade.
The scores are fairly similar because I think I understood that I was not as specific and detailed as I could have been and I knew I was repeating myself instead of bringing in new ideas as I was writing.
I have learned that I need to be more specific with my descriptions/ interpretations when writing. I also need to slow down and possibly spend so more time trying to understand the text. I need to improve on my time management and the overall development of my essay.
One on one:
What score did you give yourself, and why?: I gave myself a 5 because I feel like I misinterpreted parts of the metaphors in the poem and I don't believe I articulated my points as well as I should have
What are two strategies you have just learned about that you believe will help improve your score in the future?: Tone shifts and thesis development
What can I do to help support your learning and your preparation for the next prompt or multiple choice question set?: Keep introducing new strategies
For That He Looked Not upon Her:
You must not wonder, though you think it strange, To see me hold my louring head so low, And that mine eyes take no delight to range About the gleams which on your face do grow. The mouse which once hath broken out of trap Is seldom ’ticèd with the trustless bait, But lies aloof for fear of more mishap, And feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit. The scorchèd fly, which once hath ’scaped the flame, Will hardly come to play again with fire, Whereby I learn that grievous is the game Which follows fancy dazzled by desire: So that I wink or else hold down my head, Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred.
My essay: English poet, George Gascoigne uses strong diction and vivid imagery to srticulate the attitude of the speaker throughout the poem, For That He Looked Upon Her. Gascoigne uses artful diction throughout that demonstrates the complexity and strong feelings held by the speaker. In line 2 he uses the word "louring" to describe the speakers' head. By using louring instead of sad or gloomy, it shows how strong the sadness of the speaker is and increases the intensity of his emotions. In line 13, he uses the word "dazzled" to describe the amazement of what the speaker had felt in the past. By using dazzled it creates an idea of the excitement that the speaker once had for the desire they felt.
The author uses metaphors to compare himself to animals to depict how he felt in the relationship. In lines 5 and 6 he writes "the mouse once hath broken out of the trap is seldom 'ticed with the trust less bait,." he is saying that if a mouse escapes a trap then it most likely won't trust the bait again. this alludes to the idea that in the relationship he's writing about, he had issues trusting someone who had already caught him in a trap before. He continues in lines 7 and 8 with "But lies aloof for fear of more mishap, And feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit. These lines allude to the idea that he tried to create distance because he was scared more issues would arise but he failed and continued with the relationship even though he still had his doubts. By creating this metaphor with the mouse, it creates a comparison that adds to the depth of the emotions the author was feeling. Gascoigne creates a second metaphor, similar to the first, using a fly instead of a mouse. In lines 10 and 11 he states "The scorched fly which one hath 'scaped the flame will hardly come to play again with fire." By using this metaphor, it reiterates his previous metaphor while also showing a more complex look into the relationship he is writing about. He uses the word "hardly" to describe the fly coming back to the fire. But if the fly has been burned before and it knows it will be burned again, then why would the fly return to the fire?
My score: 5
Reflection:
I was asked to write an essay analyzing the complex attitude of the speaker is developed in his poem. What's being examined is my ability to analyze the complex attitude of the speaker.
I gave myself a score of 5. I gave myself this score because although I gave a plausible reading of Gascoigne's use of devices such as form, diction, and imagery. However, my analysis of the speaker's attitude was vague and I feel I may have included some minor misinterpretations of the poem.
What score did your teacher give you and why?: Ms. Wilson gave me a score of 5 because the ratio of analysis to actual writing I was commenting on was low, my essay was partial and vague as well as formulaic.
The most relevant part of the task was being given an example of a prompt that could be seen on the exam and being given time to practice writing an essay without the fear of receiving a grade.
The scores are fairly similar because I think I understood that I was not as specific and detailed as I could have been and I knew I was repeating myself instead of bringing in new ideas as I was writing.
I have learned that I need to be more specific with my descriptions/ interpretations when writing. I also need to slow down and possibly spend so more time trying to understand the text. I need to improve on my time management and the overall development of my essay.
One on one:
What score did you give yourself, and why?: I gave myself a 5 because I feel like I misinterpreted parts of the metaphors in the poem and I don't believe I articulated my points as well as I should have
What are two strategies you have just learned about that you believe will help improve your score in the future?: Tone shifts and thesis development
What can I do to help support your learning and your preparation for the next prompt or multiple choice question set?: Keep introducing new strategies
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