Post #5: Prose Benchmark Essay and reflection
Prompt: The following interchange, excerpted from an 1852 novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne, occurs when two characters who have been living on the Blithedale farm-a community designed to promote an ideal of equality archived through communal rural living-are about to part ways. Read the passage carefully. In a well-written essay, analyze how Hawthorne portrays the narrator's attitude towards Zenobia through the use of literary techniques.
My Essay:
In his 1852 novel, Nathaniel Hawthorne creates multiple attitudes towards Zenobia from the perspective of the narrator. To examine the narrators perspective on Zenobia, Hawthorne provides detailed examples of the narrators overall attitude of Zenobia. He does this by using strong diction and dramatic tone shifts throughout the passage.
Multiple tone shifts are seen throughout the passage. Towards the beginning, the narrator has obvious infatuation with Zenobia. He is taken away by her. The very first line is "She bewildered me." (line 1). And as you continue to read, you notice the way the narrator describes Zenobia. He compares her gorgeous surroundings to Zenobia herself claiming that they fit well together. In lines 25-27 he states "which the largeness of her physical nature and the rich type of her beauty caused to seem so suitable." This was immediately after acknowledging the gorgeousness with which she had surrounded herself in." (lines 23 & 24). The narrator also acknowledges the effect Zenobia has on him, in lines 20 & 21 he says "to bear up against the effect Zenobia sought to impose on me." This portrays a sort of resentment that the narrator fells towards Zenobia, he doesn't want her to have this sort of effect on him, yet she does. He gets irritated by her yet he still referrers to her with endearing terms such as "Our gorgeous Zenobia." (line 59).
My score: 4
Reflection:
I was being asked to write an essay analyzing how Hawthorne portrays the narrator's attitude towards Zenobia through the use of literary techniques. What is being examined is my ability to recognize and analyze the attitude of the narrator that is being portrayed.
I gave myself a score of 4. I gave myself this score because I believe my evidence was misconstrued and the way I described the use of literary techniques was partial and unconvincing
What score did your teacher give you and why?:
The scores are similar/different because:
The most relevant and useful part of the task is being given time to practice writing essays with prompts that are similar to those on the exam.
It is similar to the last essay we wrote, both were asking to analyze and interpret.
I have learned that I need to be more specific with my interpretations when writing. I also need to spend more time trying to understand the text better. I need to improve on the overall development and interpretation of my essay.
One on one:
What score did you give yourself, and why?: I gave myself a 4 because I feel like I misinterpreted parts of the attitudes in the passage and didn't fully articulate what I was trying to say.
What are two strategies you have just learned about that you believe will help improve your score in the future?: Tone shifts and thesis development
What can I do to help support your learning and your preparation for the next prompt or multiple choice question set?: Keep introducing new strategies that we can use
My Essay:
In his 1852 novel, Nathaniel Hawthorne creates multiple attitudes towards Zenobia from the perspective of the narrator. To examine the narrators perspective on Zenobia, Hawthorne provides detailed examples of the narrators overall attitude of Zenobia. He does this by using strong diction and dramatic tone shifts throughout the passage.
Multiple tone shifts are seen throughout the passage. Towards the beginning, the narrator has obvious infatuation with Zenobia. He is taken away by her. The very first line is "She bewildered me." (line 1). And as you continue to read, you notice the way the narrator describes Zenobia. He compares her gorgeous surroundings to Zenobia herself claiming that they fit well together. In lines 25-27 he states "which the largeness of her physical nature and the rich type of her beauty caused to seem so suitable." This was immediately after acknowledging the gorgeousness with which she had surrounded herself in." (lines 23 & 24). The narrator also acknowledges the effect Zenobia has on him, in lines 20 & 21 he says "to bear up against the effect Zenobia sought to impose on me." This portrays a sort of resentment that the narrator fells towards Zenobia, he doesn't want her to have this sort of effect on him, yet she does. He gets irritated by her yet he still referrers to her with endearing terms such as "Our gorgeous Zenobia." (line 59).
My score: 4
Reflection:
I was being asked to write an essay analyzing how Hawthorne portrays the narrator's attitude towards Zenobia through the use of literary techniques. What is being examined is my ability to recognize and analyze the attitude of the narrator that is being portrayed.
I gave myself a score of 4. I gave myself this score because I believe my evidence was misconstrued and the way I described the use of literary techniques was partial and unconvincing
What score did your teacher give you and why?:
The scores are similar/different because:
The most relevant and useful part of the task is being given time to practice writing essays with prompts that are similar to those on the exam.
It is similar to the last essay we wrote, both were asking to analyze and interpret.
I have learned that I need to be more specific with my interpretations when writing. I also need to spend more time trying to understand the text better. I need to improve on the overall development and interpretation of my essay.
One on one:
What score did you give yourself, and why?: I gave myself a 4 because I feel like I misinterpreted parts of the attitudes in the passage and didn't fully articulate what I was trying to say.
What are two strategies you have just learned about that you believe will help improve your score in the future?: Tone shifts and thesis development
What can I do to help support your learning and your preparation for the next prompt or multiple choice question set?: Keep introducing new strategies that we can use
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