Post #12: Where Do Monsters Lurk Opening Party

My childhood monster was my sweet dog, Cocoa.  My family and I got Cocoa around 12 years ago when she was just a little puppy.  I was around 5 or so at the time. Every young child always begs for a family dog and I was no different.  My sister and i spent weeks begging my parents for a dog before they finally caved in. We were very excited to add a new member to our family.  Everything was great! Or so i thought. Cocoa had a lot of energy, as most puppies do. Anytime we would let her back inside, she would bolt through the house, taking multiple laps of the downstairs.  This absolutely terrified me. Not to mention that she had teeth and claws, and I was horrified by the idea of her ever scratching or biting me. Because of this I tried to keep my distance from her. She was especially terrifying when she got her paws on some food that she wasn’t supposed to have.  She would become very defensive if you tried to take it away from her and even attempt to bite you. This gave me even more reason to stay away from her. I feel like this fear of my dog reflected my fear of anything biting me (I also had a fear of bugs, mainly spiders) or scratching me. I wouldn’t say it was necessarily a fear of being hurt because I injured myself a lot when I was a child and none of it phased me very much.

I have befriended this monster as I have grown older.  Over time, I have come to realize that Cocoa’s goal in life is not to harm me in any way.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I still sometimes get scared she’s going to bite me when I find her with food she shouldn’t have, but I don’t jump on the counter every time she is running through the house anymore.  I encourage her excitement and love the energy she has whenever she greets me. I think I was able to overcome this fear because now I am much bigger than cocoa (big dogs still scare me), and I understand that she is only really scary when she wants to be, which is only a small percentage of the time.  I have learned that she is only full of love and happiness and will only change that if you get between her and her food. I know she doesn’t have bad intentions and being able to see that now have given me an entirely new perspective on her that I never thought I would have.

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