Post #8: Open question benchmark essay
Prompt: Select a novel, play, or epic poem that features a character whose origins are unusual or mysterious. Then write an essay in which you analyze how these origins shape the character and that character's relationships, and how the origins contribute to the meaning of the work as a whole.
My Essay:
In Sophocles' Antigone, Antigone has a gloomy past that aids in the shaping of the strength and loyalty we see in Antigone's character throughout the play. Antigone suffered from the loss of her brother. Because of his actions, it was decided he would not be allowed to have a proper burial. This was decided by another of their own flesh and blood, Kreon. Antigone decided she wasn't going to stand for this and she was going to bury him herself. Once news of this incident made its way to Kreon, Antigone was sure to let him know that she was the one who committed the act and she was ready to accept the consequences for her actions.
The death of Antigone's brother made her come to the realization that she would rather die than let a member of her family not be honored in death. Because she was so angry about his death and the way his body was treated, she decided she must take matters into her own hands. If the death and dishonoring of her brother occurred she wouldn't have been given an opportunity to demonstrate her loyalty to those closest to her as she did.
The death of Antigone's brother impacts pretty much every single relationship she has in a negative way. Because of Kreons treatment of her brother, Antigone has a sudden disdain for her uncle that wasn't present before. Her relationship with her sister crumbles as Antigone is sickened by her sisters disinterest in helping Antigone with her noble act. Later, when Ismene tries to join in Antigone's fate, she is met with disgust from Antigone who wants her sister to have no part in her actions. Not because she wants her sister to live but because she sees the actions as great and doesn't want Ismene to take any of the credit away from her. This is because she now sees Ismene as weak and disloyal, which wouldn't have happened if her brother had never died. Her brothers death also effects her relationship with her future husband, Haimon, the son of Kreon. Because of Antigone's actions, Kreon wants his son to have no part in a marriage with Antigone. he even uses the metaphoe "There are other plots for him to plow." when asked why he would take away his sons love. Also, Antigone ends up taking her own life. This obviously is very devastating to Haimon, who also ends up taking his own life. Because of her brothers death, Antigone's relationship with Haimon morphed from sweet love into a tragedy.
Sophocles creates a common theme of family and loyalty in Antigone. The death of her brother supports this theme by having this example of a tough situation that Antigone has to go through, it adds to the overall meaning of the text which is stay loyal to those that are close to you no matter the consequences, and you will be proud of your actions.
My Score: 4
Reflection:
I was being asked to write an essay analyzing how the mysterious or unusual origins of the character help shape the character and their relationships and how the origins contribute to the meaning as a whole.
I gave myself a score of 4 because I didn't mention Oedipus at all, and Oedipus is the entire reason Antigone has a "unusual" past. I focused more on the effects her brother had on her. I see this as making my analysis irrelevant. I also spent some time summarizing instead of analyzing.
What score did your teacher give you and why?: 5 because I responded with a plausible reading but I had a thinly developed analysis. I relied on the plot summary and I had a simplistic understanding of the origins.
The scores are similar/different because: The scores are different because Ms. Wilson gave me a higher score than what I gave myself. I think I believed that not mentioning Oedipus was more damaging to my essay than it was in reality.
The most relevant and useful part of the task is being given time to practice writing essays with prompts that are similar to those on the exam. Also being able to examine a completely different type of essay in which you can enter the essay with some form of preparation since it is based on text you know you are familiar with.
It is similar to the last essay we wrote, both were asking to analyze and interpret. But it differs because we get to use our previous knowledge to aid in the execution of this essay.
I have learned that I need to focus less on summarizing and more on analyzing and I need to develop my analysis more.
One on one:
What score did you give yourself, and why?: I gave myself a 4 because I feel like I misinterpreted parts of the mysterious origins and didn't develop my analysis enough
What are two strategies you have just learned about that you believe will help improve your score in the future?: Three sentence thesis and tone shifts
What can I do to help support your learning and your preparation for the next prompt or multiple choice question set?: Keep introducing new strategies that we can use and aid in sharing more about how to write essays for the AP Lit exam and what they are looking for.
My Essay:
In Sophocles' Antigone, Antigone has a gloomy past that aids in the shaping of the strength and loyalty we see in Antigone's character throughout the play. Antigone suffered from the loss of her brother. Because of his actions, it was decided he would not be allowed to have a proper burial. This was decided by another of their own flesh and blood, Kreon. Antigone decided she wasn't going to stand for this and she was going to bury him herself. Once news of this incident made its way to Kreon, Antigone was sure to let him know that she was the one who committed the act and she was ready to accept the consequences for her actions.
The death of Antigone's brother made her come to the realization that she would rather die than let a member of her family not be honored in death. Because she was so angry about his death and the way his body was treated, she decided she must take matters into her own hands. If the death and dishonoring of her brother occurred she wouldn't have been given an opportunity to demonstrate her loyalty to those closest to her as she did.
The death of Antigone's brother impacts pretty much every single relationship she has in a negative way. Because of Kreons treatment of her brother, Antigone has a sudden disdain for her uncle that wasn't present before. Her relationship with her sister crumbles as Antigone is sickened by her sisters disinterest in helping Antigone with her noble act. Later, when Ismene tries to join in Antigone's fate, she is met with disgust from Antigone who wants her sister to have no part in her actions. Not because she wants her sister to live but because she sees the actions as great and doesn't want Ismene to take any of the credit away from her. This is because she now sees Ismene as weak and disloyal, which wouldn't have happened if her brother had never died. Her brothers death also effects her relationship with her future husband, Haimon, the son of Kreon. Because of Antigone's actions, Kreon wants his son to have no part in a marriage with Antigone. he even uses the metaphoe "There are other plots for him to plow." when asked why he would take away his sons love. Also, Antigone ends up taking her own life. This obviously is very devastating to Haimon, who also ends up taking his own life. Because of her brothers death, Antigone's relationship with Haimon morphed from sweet love into a tragedy.
Sophocles creates a common theme of family and loyalty in Antigone. The death of her brother supports this theme by having this example of a tough situation that Antigone has to go through, it adds to the overall meaning of the text which is stay loyal to those that are close to you no matter the consequences, and you will be proud of your actions.
My Score: 4
Reflection:
I was being asked to write an essay analyzing how the mysterious or unusual origins of the character help shape the character and their relationships and how the origins contribute to the meaning as a whole.
I gave myself a score of 4 because I didn't mention Oedipus at all, and Oedipus is the entire reason Antigone has a "unusual" past. I focused more on the effects her brother had on her. I see this as making my analysis irrelevant. I also spent some time summarizing instead of analyzing.
What score did your teacher give you and why?: 5 because I responded with a plausible reading but I had a thinly developed analysis. I relied on the plot summary and I had a simplistic understanding of the origins.
The scores are similar/different because: The scores are different because Ms. Wilson gave me a higher score than what I gave myself. I think I believed that not mentioning Oedipus was more damaging to my essay than it was in reality.
The most relevant and useful part of the task is being given time to practice writing essays with prompts that are similar to those on the exam. Also being able to examine a completely different type of essay in which you can enter the essay with some form of preparation since it is based on text you know you are familiar with.
It is similar to the last essay we wrote, both were asking to analyze and interpret. But it differs because we get to use our previous knowledge to aid in the execution of this essay.
I have learned that I need to focus less on summarizing and more on analyzing and I need to develop my analysis more.
One on one:
What score did you give yourself, and why?: I gave myself a 4 because I feel like I misinterpreted parts of the mysterious origins and didn't develop my analysis enough
What are two strategies you have just learned about that you believe will help improve your score in the future?: Three sentence thesis and tone shifts
What can I do to help support your learning and your preparation for the next prompt or multiple choice question set?: Keep introducing new strategies that we can use and aid in sharing more about how to write essays for the AP Lit exam and what they are looking for.
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